Counseling Center - Topic of the Month

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The Value of Time

The Value of Time

Imagine there is a bank which credits your account each morning with $86,400; carries over no balance from day to day, allows you to keep no cash balance, and every evening cancels whatever part of the amount you had failed to use during the day.

What would you do? Draw out every cent, of course! Well, everyone has such a bank. Its name is TIME. Every morning, it credits you with 86,400 seconds. Every night it writes off, as lost, whatever of this you have failed to invest to good purpose.

It carries over no balance. It allows no overdraft. Each day it opens a new account for you. Each night it burns the records of the day. If you fail to use the day's deposits, the loss is yours. There is no going back. There is no drawing against the "tomorrow". You must live in the present on today's deposits. Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health, happiness and success! The clock is running. Make the most of today..

To realize The value of

To realize The value of a sister: Ask someone Who doesn't have one.
To realize the value of friends: Ask a person Who cannot name one.
To realize the value of a friend: Lose one.
To realize The value of ten years: Ask a newly Divorced couple.
To realize The value of four years: Ask a graduate.
To realize The value of one year: Ask a student who Has failed a final exam.
To realize The value of nine months: Ask a mother who gave birth to a still born.
To realize The value of one month: Ask a mother who has given birth to A premature baby.
To realize The value of one week: Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realize The value of one hour: Ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
To realize The value of one minute: Ask a person Who has missed the train, bus or plane.
To realize The value of one second: Ask a person Who has survived an accident.
To realize The value of one millisecond: Ask the person Who has won a silver medal in the Olympics.
Time waits for no one.
Treasure every moment you have.
Yesterday is history.
Tomarrow is a mystery.
Today is a gift.
That’s why it’s called the present!!


Formula for Overcoming Failure

1. Recognize

What is failure? Is it permanent? Is there a second chance? Complete this sentence by circling the right phrase.
A person is a failure when:
  • (a) he makes a mistake;
  • (b) he quits;
  • (c) someone thinks he is.

2. Review

Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead-end street. A winner is big enough to admit his mistakes, smart enough to profit from them and strong enough to correct them. The only difference between the unsuccessful man/women and the successful man/women is that the unsuccessful man/women is mistaken three times out of five.

3. Re-press

Perhaps your own personal problems and hang-ups cause the failure. If so, begin to work immediately on self-discipline. If you are the problem, put yourself under control. Lord Nelson, England ’s famous naval hero, suffering from seasickness throughout his entire live. Yet the man who had destroyed Napoleon’s fleet did not let illness interfere with his career. He not only learned to live with his personal weakness, but he also conquered it. Most of us have our own little seasickness, too. For some it may be physical, for others psychological. Usually it is a private war carried on quietly within us. No one will pin a medal on us for winning it, but nothing can dim the satisfaction of knowing that we did not surrender.

4. Re-adjust

An eminent plastic surgeon told of a boy who lost his hand at the wrist. When he asked the lad about his handicap, the boy replied, "I don’t have a handicap. I just don’t have a right hand." The surgeon when on to discover that this boy was one of the leading scorers on his high school football team. It’s not what you have lost, but what you have left that counts.

5. Re-enter

Mistakes mark the road to success. He who makes no mistakes makes no progress. Make sure you generate a reasonable number of mistakes. I know that comes naturally to some people, but too many people are so afraid of error that they make their lives rigid with checks and counter-checks, discourage change and, in the end, so structured themselves that they will miss the kind of offbeat opportunity that can send their life skyrocketing. So take a look at your record, and if you come to the end of a year and see that you haven’t made many mistakes, ask yourself if you have tried everything you should have.

We learn by our mistakes and we can’t learn without mistakes. Even the best people have a lot more failures than successes. The key is that they do not let the failures upset them. They do their very best. Let the chips fall where they may, then go on to the next attempt.

In big league baseball, anyone who gets three or more hits in ten trips to the plate is a superstar. It’s a matter of percentages. And in life, it’s the same way. When you strike our, forget it. If you made some mistakes, learn from them and do better the next time. Strikeouts are part of the game, nothing to be ashamed of. Just get in there and keep swinging!

--John C. Maxell, The Winning Attitude at Thomas Nelson Publishers


Substance Abuse: The Family Problem / Family Roles

The Family Problem

Ever watched an episode of the Simpson’s? Ever noticed how Homer hangs out at Moe’s and enjoys his Duff beer? Would you classify Homer as being chemically dependent? What about Marge and the children? What affects does Homer’s drinking have on them? The Simpson’s is a prime example of how substance abuse can work in the family and how it can affect the entire family.

Chemically Dependent Person

One who is addicted to alcohol and/or drugs. This person misses important family events such as their child’s game or performance. The chemically dependent person may perform poorly at work and at home.

Enabler or Co-Dependent

Often one who covers up for the Chemically Dependent Person. Example 1: Homer is out drinking all night and is sick the next morning from a hang over. Marge calls in to work for Homer saying that he has the flu. Example 2: Homer is supposed to attend Lisa’s band concert. Once again he fails to show. Marge covers for him by making an excuse that he had to work late when in reality he was at Moe’s drinking.

Scapegoat

One who is often blamed for the family problems. This individual may be belligerent to authority figures and not get along well with peers. The scapegoat takes the focus off of the addiction problem and gives the family someone to blame.

Hero

One who is always perfect and helps the enabler "hold the family together." This is the individual who is a people pleaser. The Hero often makes the family look good, as if there are no problems within the family unit. This person may be taken advantage of by others because of the eagerness to please.

Lost Child

One who is often extremely quiet and may be "forgotten" or left out of events. This individual escapes in a sense from the family. This person may create a fantasy world including "people, vacations, and fun things" that are done with family. A dream world may be easier for this person rather than the issues at hand.

Family Mascot

One who acts out in the family to get attention, the clown. The Mascot provides comic relief to the family.
To learn more about family roles contact Kimberly King (703) 408-4623.

It is often difficult to deal with difficult people and difficult situations. We hope that this poem by Mother Theresa would be helpful and stimulate hope when difficult times arise.

Anyway!

by - Mother Theresa

People are often unreasonable, illogical,
and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, People may accuse
you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some
false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank,
people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building,
someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness,
there may be jealousy;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today,
people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have,
and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis,
it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.

7 Habits of Emotionally Healthy People

1. Inner security

Emotionally Healthy People are not desperate to impress others. Emotionally Healthy People do not buy into the idea that their worth as a person is determined by what others think of them. Who they are as a person is not determined by those around them, atmosphere, peer groups etc. They see themselves as a thermostat not a thermometer.

2. Perfectionism

Emotionally Healthy People do not need to be perfect. Emotionally Healthy People know that being healthy does not mean being flawless.

3. Not afraid to seek personal or professional help

Emotionally Healthy People are not hesitant about using professional help. If the situation warrants it, they will seek help from a therapist, psychologist, pastor, counselor, or older person. Emotionally Healthy People feel so secure and competent of their worth that they are totally non-defensive in their pursuit of health. They also feel comfortable, fully confident, and do not mind telling you of the help they received.

4. Judgmental

Emotionally Healthy People do not judge your worth on the basis of external factors. Emotionally Healthy People attribute the same worth to you that they claim for themselves. Emotionally Healthy People believe that you were created worthy of enormous respect and that is the basis on which they relate to you. Emotionally Healthy People love and respect others with the same level of love and respect that they hold for themselves.

5. Problem solvers

Emotionally Healthy People over come major problems with even greater solutions. They turn tragedy into triumph time after time again and they frequently end up with such magnificent solutions.

6. Emphasis on the spiritual

Emotionally Healthy People emphasis spiritual solutions and take a spiritual orientation to the journey of life and its many challenges. Emotionally Healthy People have a spiritually rounded focus on deeper truths of life. This spiritual understanding allows them to seek inner peace in the face of trials.

7. Reinforcement of Health:

Emotionally Healthy People reinforce the health of others by pointing out the assets of others. Above all Emotionally Healthy People are enjoyable to be around.

Five Emotional Health Concerns - Dr. John Trent

1. Emotional Emptiness

People who present internal emptiness at the center of their being are often seen as suffering from or searching for an escape through various addictions or obsessions such as: alcohol, drugs, sex, porn, gambling, food, sweets, extreme/shock music ("gangster rap", cult-type heavy metal…), relationships (fatal attractions), hobbies (such that they are willing to compromise what is important for that of the hobby, can not pay house bills but is willing to pay $1000 for new rims on their car.), etc.

2. Low Self-Esteem

People with low self-esteem tend to treat others in a negative manner. They have difficulty developing positive healthy relationships with others. Remember that we tend to love others and treat others to about the same degree we love and treat ourselves. The respect we show to others is often the same level of respect that we hold for ourselves.

3. Fear of Emotions

Any person who is the victim of inadequately structured self-concept may well fear his own feelings. Under this influence of fear, emotions are often repressed by these people. They pretend that their feelings simply do not exist.

4. Character Disorders

It is profoundly difficult to build a stable relationship with a person who lies, cheats, cuts corners in every what and shows disregard to the feelings of others. Healthy people invest heavily in developing strong and enduring characters. Remember HURT PEOPLE, HURT PEOPLE!

5. Uncontrolled or Mismanagement of Anger

People who have unhealthy emotions clearly are unable to manager or control their anger in a safe, non-abusive, or threatening manner. Relationships built on this emotional pattern are based on fear and control. They tend to lead to unproductive lives.




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