Parent Center - Key Insights From The Heart of a SWC
You Can’t Make Me, But I Can Be Persuaded, Taken from Cynthia Ulrich Tobias’s Book, published by Waterbrook Press.
- It’s the special relationship with you, not how many parenting (counseling) techniques or strategies you know, that make the most difference to me.
- Most of the time I am not trying to annoy you on purpose. I just want you to appreciate my uniqueness. I want you to see me and love me no matter what.
- If you love me and value me, I’ll do almost anything for you.
- Teaching me to motivate myself will be more valuable than either of us realizes.
- I sometimes need to experience the consequences of not doing something in order to experience the motivation for doing it.
- I respond better to a compelling problem that needs to be solved than to a chore that needs to be done.
- It doesn’t matter how important grades are to you. What matters most is how important they are to me.
- Tackle the issue of grades one subject at a time. Don’t demand that I improve everything at once.
- Help me discover and commit to compelling reasons to learn in the first place.
- It’s important for me to understand the reasons for rule or limitation.
- The action you take will be much more effective than the anger you show.
- Negative reinforcement usually has no positive effect on me.
- It’s important for me to feel I always have options.
- I need to change my environment and very my challenges frequently.
- I don’t want to be like everyone else.
- The quality of your relationship with me determines to a great extent the quality of my relationship with God and others.
- I am drawn to God and others because of who He is or they are, not out of the fear of what He or others could do to me.
- Inthe end, it will be your love, not your sermons, that keeps me close or brings me back to God and to you.
- You may need to rescue me, even when I insist I don’t need your help.
- Don’t remind me of my failures. Keep emphasizing the progression of my successes.
- Never stop loving me.
- I will never be too old to appreciate hearing what you like about me.
- I am never completely beyond your reach. Sometimes I just need an excuse to take your hand.
- You don’t have to be an expert on strong wills to show your consistent love for me.
Remember, You Can’t Make Me.
- back me into a corner and leave me no choice,
- tell me what I will or will not do,
- insist that something can’t be done,
- demand I obey without question.
But I Can Be Persuaded!
- value my ability to see the world from a unique perspective,
- find ways to inspire me to change the world,
- ask me for my input,
- recognize my uniqueness even if it bothers you.
Our strong-willed members will keep us forever challenged. We won’t have to worry about becoming bored or getting into a rut. There’s a lot to be said for that! I hope this has given us a glimpse into the minds and hearts of SWCs, and I especially hope we can keep a different perspective in our relationships with all of the SWCs in our program. Life is too short to constantly battle those in our care. If we can begin to understand the inner workings of a SWC’s mind, we may hold the key to his or her heart. It sure beats knocking down the door!